silvermystics's Blog

This is an indefinite so long to all of my ep friends. I will be back but I have no idea when. I hate having to leave ep for any amount of time, but some things just can't be helped. My friends, I love you all and I hope to still have you all as my friends when I come back.

Love to all

 

silvermystics

Happy Father's Day to all of you Dads out there. I wish I had time, I would post this to my men (circle) personally. I have to run though, and go to work.

Love and hugs to all!!

My son came by for a little bit. We talked about his friend and everything that lead up to it. We just talked about a lot of things, hashing them over. My son was talking just to get 'it' out. I love my boy so much. I told him to let me know if I can do anything at all to help him get through this. I told him if I could, I'd give him a little pill to help make it better. He told me that drugs were not the answer. We laughed.

We cried together, laughed, became angered and just went through an emotional visit. It helped us both. I think he will be okay. He is going to be a Pall Bearer. The funeral won't be until towards the end of next week as his cousin stationed in Iraq will be coming.

Anyway, just wanted to write about it. I guess to help me.

My head and my heart hurt so bad.  I hope God isn't too hard on him, now. He was hurting so much in life; I hope not in death, too.

"I am going to miss you my dear friend and 'other' son."

 

Here are the results of a personality test I took. I was amazed at how accurate it is.

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient and fun.

Extroversion results were very low which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Trait Snapshot:

Introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual. 

My mood: very mellow
 

 

All of the education I've had and I can do nothing. So people seem to think. No, I have no Major Degrees in anything. I've got quite a bit of schooling, though. I have entry level education in Data Entry, Information Management and Clerical. I have Nursing School and Experience behind me.

All of that went South when I put myself in a bad relationship with a JERK! A physically, mentally, emotionally abusive jerk! Control Freak. Look out for me at all costs to any and all others.

I've really screwed myself in the long-run. Of course, I can go flip burgers at mimimum wage. Tear down my already bad feet and legs. I can do what I'm doing and work on call when needed.

I had a pretty good job at the end of last year. It was similar to production work and manufacturing. We made electrical transformers. I really, really liked what I was doing! There were no benefits, but there were regular pay raises and steady work. I actually loved it! It lasted from May of last year to January this year. Then, I was laid off! Damned economy!

Anyway, I declare myself an educated idiot! Now I'm an unemployed educated idiot who is on a pity party.

Hi everybody!

I started school! University Of Phoenix Online. I figured I need to do something to try to get back to making some real money. It will take awhile, but that's alright. I have a goal.

Business Management for starters. It's an 18 month course. It will have been well worth it in the long run. I should have done this years before. It's something that I've kept putting off and hell, I'm not getting any younger! I started last week. So far, so good!

This is partially the reason I've not been here lately. I'm trying hard to get my life in order. It's a heck of a project, but it's got to be done. I'm too good to let the bad keep me down.

I'll be popping in and out, though!

Hey Folks!  I'm in and out of EP a lot lately.  I've been trying to catch up on some things around the house.  I've not forgotten you all, though.  Hopefully it won't be too long before I have my "crap" together and can "hang out" again.  I still love ya'll!!  It's just a shame that I can't get my life straightened out as well.  Oh well, time is on my side and patience is a virtue and all of that 'wise saying' stuff.    Anyway, I'll catch ya'll on the flip flop (as they say!)

LJM

My youngest daughter told me yesterday that she and her boyfriend will be moving away.  She is going to go be closer to her Dad.  She will also be going to a college that is there.

She said she was afraid to tell me.  She didn't want me to be upset with her.  I told her that I was upset, but only because I'd miss her.  I also told her that I understood and don't blame her at all.

Truth be known though, I feel like they're trying to get away from me!    Really though, I do know better.  It still hurts, though.  I love my children extremely.  We have been a lot closer when they were growing up than most parents and their children.  I was their friend when they needed (not wanted) me to be, but I was definitely always their mother.

I feel kind of helpless and sad, yet happy for them.  I guess I'm just kind of selfish when it comes to my kids.  I'll be okay, though.  Who knows?, I may need this more than they do! 

My daughter sent me pictures of her boys and her.  She also sent me an "ecard" with an awful lot of sentiment.  Made a blubbering fool of me!  I miss them so much!  They haven't even left to go across the country, yet!

Last night I heard from my daughter who moved out of town.  Now she's going to be moving halfway across the country!!!!  Makes me really want to break down and blubber!!  Her husband has a sister who lives there.  First he is going up (has a job already set up) then after awhile she and my grandsons will be going!  If it works out for them, it will be the best thing.  I just hate that they have to go so far to find it.

By the way, the little guy who wasn't walking yet is walking.  She said he has been for about 4 or 5 days.  Oh well, I got to see most of the others.

I am really happy.  Last night I heard from a good friend that I haven't talked to in about three months.  I was so excited to hear from her.  She is 12 years ,y senior, but she acts more like 30! She is extremely smart, too.  She is just one of those people that I bonded with instantly! 

It's weird, because I was missing one friend (who passed away in February) exteremely bad.  Then Miss L called me.  They both were closer in age.  Miss L was the spunky, healthy version of my other friend Miss J.  

Well. tomorrow my grandsons and daughter leave town.    I'm going to miss them so much!!  I already blubbered once today.  I'll probably be a wreck tomorrow.  The baby's not walking,but he will.  I'll miss it!  He doesn't walk, but in his walker, he'll pick the walker up and run like mad!  Makes me think of the old movies where the lady is holding up her hoop skirt running.  He can't walk yet, though.  He thinks, anyway.

I'll miss a lot.  They mean so much to me.  My oldest daughter did that, but came back.  So, maybe this one will, too.